The Spiritual Teenager: When Passion Meets the Hard Lessons of Maturity

Dann Spader knows teenagers. He worked as a youth pastor and raised three daughters through their adolescent years. And he says this about that stage of life: “Energy, zeal, unbridled passion, and invincibility are all characteristics of this stage. Teens are willing to step out and try new things. They long to be given the chance both to fail and to succeed.” If they fail, they need someone to pick them up. If they succeed, they need someone to remind them where the success came from.

That is exactly what Chair 3 looks like in the spiritual journey. The apostle John describes the progression in 1 John 2:12-14: children (teknion), young men (neaniskos), and fathers (pater). The young man stage is where believers move from being “me-oriented” to being “others-oriented.” They begin to serve, to reach out, to care for peers, and to share their faith. The energy is real. The passion is genuine. But so is the danger.

The Call That Changes Everything

Eighteen months into His ministry, Jesus made a strategic move. He singled out four men - James, John, Simon, and Andrew - and deepened His investment in them. The challenge shifted from “Come and see” and “Follow me” to something far more costly: “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” (Matthew 4:19). He was calling them from observation to participation. From watching to doing.

Jesus also made four transitions at this point. He shifted leadership from John the Baptist’s movement to His own. He relocated from Nazareth, a remote village of twenty to thirty families, to Capernaum, a bustling city on the Via Maris trade route. His message moved from “Come and see who I am” to “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near.” And His calling shifted from a general invitation to a specific commissioning of a few. Each transition was intentional. Each one models what church-planters do when they move from gathering a crowd to training a team.

The Village Young Man

Picture a young man in a remote Javanese village who came to Christ a year ago. He has learned to pray. He reads his Bible, even if haltingly. But something new is stirring. He looks at his neighbors who do not know Christ and feels a burden he cannot ignore. He wants to serve, to help, to do something. That is the spiritual teenager awakening. He needs someone to channel that energy, give him opportunities, and teach him the hard lessons before the energy burns out.

What Jesus Was Looking For

The story in Luke 5:1-11 reveals five characteristics Jesus was looking for in His workers. Peter let Jesus use his boat - he was available. He rowed back out after a fruitless night because Jesus said so - he was faithful. He was willing to try a different approach to fishing - he was teachable. He called his partners to share the catch - he was enthusiastic. And when Jesus called, he left everything - he was responsive. Five characteristics that anyone can develop. None of them require a seminary degree.

The Danger Nobody Warns You About

Here is what typically happens in Chair 3. A believer comes to Christ, grows, gets excited about serving, and jumps in with both feet. They volunteer for everything. They reach out to neighbors. They teach, lead, and serve with abandon. And then, weeks or months later, they crash. The joy evaporates. Frustration takes its place. They wonder what went wrong.

What went wrong is that they were serving in their own strength. Paul describes this exact struggle in Romans 7: “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out” (Romans 7:18). Twenty-nine times in that chapter Paul says “I.” I want, I try, I fail. It is the exhausting loop of self-effort.

But Romans 8 opens with a completely different sound: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free” (Romans 8:1-2). Nineteen times in Romans 8 Paul says “the Spirit.” The shift is from “I” to “the Spirit.” From self-reliance to Spirit-dependence. And that is the most critical lesson of Chair 3.

The lesson is not to try harder. It is to abide more. A branch does not strain to produce fruit. It simply stays connected to the vine (John 15:5). The exhausted church-planter in a remote village does not need to work more hours. He needs to draw from a different power source.

The Only Way Through

Spader is honest: “Many believers do not make it through Chair 3.” The workers are few. The road is hard. But the destination is worth everything. The only way to the multiplication of Chair 4 is through the refining of Chair 3. And for those who learn to live in the Spirit rather than the flesh, the journey becomes not just bearable but joyful. God is shaping, not punishing. He approved every difficulty in advance. And when we learn that lesson, we can relax and enjoy the journey - even the hard parts.