Why Most Believers Never Make It Through Chair 3 - And How You Can

Dann Spader does not sugarcoat it. “Many believers do not make it through Chair 3,” he writes. Jesus Himself observed, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few” (Matthew 9:37). Most who begin the journey of disciple-making do not finish. The road from enthusiastic young believer to mature, reproducing disciple-maker is littered with casualties. Why? And more importantly, how do we help workers navigate it successfully?

Principle 1: Chair 3 Is Not Easy - But It Is Our Joy

Early in his ministry, Spader wanted everything immediately. Growth, impact, numbers - he wanted it now. Instead, God took him through years of painful experiences. Conflicts with colleagues. False accusations. Rejection from people he trusted. Through it all, God was shaping him. And eventually Spader learned to “relax and enjoy the journey.”

“Becoming like Him in His death” (Philippians 3:10) sounds ominous, but Jesus modeled what it looks like in practice. He was willing - “No one takes my life; I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18). He was intentional - “He resolutely set out for Jerusalem” (Luke 9:51). He was gracious - when reviled, He did not retaliate (1 Peter 2:21-22). He was courageous - He could have escaped the cross but faced it. He was enduring - He persevered through opposition (Hebrews 12:3). And He was entrusting - “Into your hands I commit my spirit” (Luke 23:46).

Six marks of maturity. None of them come naturally. All of them are forged in the fire of difficulty.

Principle 2: Be Aware That Many Do Not Finish

Jesus told Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!” when Peter tried to talk Him out of the cross (Matthew 16:22-23). Peter meant well. He was trying to protect Jesus. But in doing so, he was doing Satan’s work - trying to divert Jesus from the very thing that would save the world.

We do the same thing when we try to shield young workers from difficulty. When we make the Christian life sound easy. When we promise that following Jesus means everything gets better. Honesty is more loving than false comfort. We need to tell young workers the truth: it costs to follow Christ. The road is narrow. There will be suffering, servanthood, and sacrifice. But the destination is worth everything.

Principle 3: Maturity Takes Time - It Cannot Be Rushed

Spader puts it memorably: “Teen years are fun, but most everyone who is finished with them says, ‘I am glad that is done!’” The spiritual teenage years of Chair 3 are the same. They are exciting and exhausting in equal measure. Full of energy and full of mistakes. Full of zeal and full of foolishness. You cannot rush through them any more than you can rush a teenager into adulthood.

Be patient with the process. God is working even when growth is invisible. Do not force fruit - cultivate the soil. In a remote Javanese village, a young church-planter may spend two years with only five people coming to Christ. His family urges him to give up. The temptation to quit is overwhelming. But this is exactly the testing ground of Chair 3. The question is not “Is it working?” but “Am I faithful?” Jesus endured the cross by focusing on the joy beyond it (Hebrews 12:2). The worker endures the hard years by focusing on the fruit that will come.

Principle 4: Relax and Enjoy the Journey

Perhaps the most surprising principle of all. Spader writes: “Nothing came my way that He had not approved in advance. He was shaping my life and molding it. When I learned this simple lesson, I began to relax and enjoy the journey.”

This is not the relaxation of laziness. It is the relaxation of trust. When you know that the sovereign God of the universe has approved every difficulty, every setback, every painful season - you stop fighting the process and start cooperating with it. You stop asking “Why me?” and start asking “What are You teaching me?”

The exhausted worker in a remote village does not need another strategy. He needs to know that God approved this assignment. God approved the slow growth. God approved the loneliness. God approved the opposition. Not because He is cruel, but because He is shaping something that will outlast a lifetime.

The Doorway to Multiplication

Chair 3 is not a dead end. It is a doorway. The only way to the multiplication of Chair 4 is through the refining of Chair 3. The workers who make it through are the ones who learn to live in the Spirit’s power, embrace the hard lessons, and trust the God who approved every step of the journey.

For the church-planter in Central Java who feels like quitting: you are not failing. You are being forged. And the God who called you to that remote village will sustain you through every season - if you learn to draw from His Spirit rather than your own strength.